that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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