take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
