Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She said her name was "party"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
