you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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