i just had sex bonerless
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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