i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
