i think i have two assholes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I love you.
Bad choice
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