Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
