We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
