i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
