which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
