im having a threesome with these popsicles
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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