ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i need an iv and a liver transplant
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
