Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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