I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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