Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
