You can't special order awesome
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
