i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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