the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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