he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
