Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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