This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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