I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
