the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
