oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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