All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
