Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
