five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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