Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
