if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
