So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
