Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
PS: I just woke up from my shower
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
