I'm lost and stupid without you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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