I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
