i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
