They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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