OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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