but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
