Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
