instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
