My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
