How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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