They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
