sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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