I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
