Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
