yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
