living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
