Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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