when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can tuck mytits in my pants
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
