So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
time to smoke my breakfast
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize