I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
