I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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