I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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