Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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